Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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