he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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