Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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