I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
