Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize