So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
