I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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