We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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