I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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