Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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