YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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