We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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