a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
