My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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