In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am available for nakedness
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
