So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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