puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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