i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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