There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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