Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
