I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize