Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Pants are for mortals
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize