took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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