i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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