I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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