batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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