dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
