So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
