I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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