Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
