he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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