On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
