My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.