At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.