no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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