I accidentally had phone sex last night
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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