Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
