also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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