so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
