That's intense
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just cropdusted the office
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ok first of all what the fuck
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
