i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
