butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The Olympian is in my bed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
