you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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