Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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