so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize