Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize