No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the day after is always just damage control
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
