I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize