Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
