some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Fuck appropriateness.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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