The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
