i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
