fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
