In the future we'll all be gay
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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