if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize