idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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