Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
