he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think my vagina is haunted
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
