ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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